A Woman's Guide To Personal Safety
Call me Tatiana, and I’m only 17. It was a fun evening with my friends at the club. Though I’m not allowed to go clubbing by my parents, I had to do it. They were away for the weekend, and I wanted to try how it’s like to be a woman. Continue reading “My Therapist Says It’s Your Fault”
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Listen to the experts in ethics, and you’ll then say that the perfect defense against ethical issues is a great offense. By finding conceivable encounters and discussing them honestly with clients and colleagues, therapy practitioners can prevent the hurt emotions, misunderstandings, and messy scenarios that could result in trials before lawsuits, loss of professional license, and ethics boards. But being cautious does not signify that psychologists, therapists, and other mental health professionals must constantly worry about what and where the next ethical error will be.
Rather than fretting over how they can experience problems, therapists and other practitioners must consider ethics as a means of asking, “How can I improve and be the best in my practice?”
Several practitioners have been interviewed to discuss how they can avoid typical ethical pitfalls, including terminating treatment, multiple relationships, and confidentiality breaches. Below are some of the collective advice of therapists, psychologists, and other mental health practitioners on preventing constant ethical errors.
Safeguard Confidentiality
Therapists are often required to give information regarding their clients to their spouses, insurance companies, employers, and school personnel, among others. These requests could be well intended, but therapists should meticulously balance the release of details with their ethical responsibilities to safeguard their patient’s privacy. Certainly, because the public trusts in mental health practitioners’ promises of privacy, it is important for these practitioners to be clear on their reason to divulge information. Before releasing, ask yourself, “Why am I giving out this information?”
Understand What Makes Up A Multiple Relationship
An essential question in a multiple relationship scenario is, “Whose needs are being catered here?” If the answer is the therapist’s needs, then it’s time for the therapist to get consulted and take extra care. The Ethics Code states that therapists and other mental health practitioners must elude relationships that could logically destroy their professional performance or could damage the other party. Multiple relationships, however, that are not rationally expected to have such an impact are not immoral.
Be Aware Of Your Supervisory Obligations
Therapists may be accountable for the conduct and behaviors of those who work under them, whether or not it’s an intern performing or administrative personnel helping with billing and documentation. This means supervising therapists must progressively evaluate their supervisees’ efficiency and ensure they are dealing with them properly. Such supervision must include everything from making sure that their supervisees perform the informed-consent process appropriately to inhibiting them from utilizing the supervisor’s signature stamp on any letter or billing statement that the supervisor has not yet reviewed.
As commonly stated, ‘If it’s under your name, you are definitely responsible.”
Source: innertransformationpllc.com
Determine Your Role And Your Client
When therapy practitioners work with groups or organizations, they must comprehend from the beginning who they were employed to assist and what the expectations are. Predicaments emerge in a range of settings. They can crop up in court, particularly when it’s clear that the therapist is there as an expert witness or activist for one party. Court-designated assessors must express objective and impartial opinions. Another scenario wherein predicaments might arise is during couple’s therapy. For instance, when one spouse wishes for a better marriage but the other is pushing for divorce, counselors must clarify from the start that they are not capable of deciding if the couple should be together or provide an opinion during a divorce trial.
Document
Documentation could be a therapist’s best backup if he is ever confronted with ethical complaints. But lack of documentation – or documenting inappropriately – can be harmful.
A few specifics that are necessary for documenting therapeutic interactions based on the ethics and guidelines experts include significant history, risk factors, and attempts to retrieve previous treatment records, acknowledging information, informed-consent documentation, pertinent phone calls, and out-of-clinic contacts, and diagnostic evaluations, consultations, and treatment plans, among others.
Practice Within Your Expertise
Every mental health practitioner is aware that they are obliged to practice in the area where they are proficient. However, sometimes problems emerge when, for instance, they practice in developing regions with no clear-cut standards. The dilemma here comes if you are not aware that there are specific rules and standards from professional literature. Your intentions might be good, but perhaps you have not realized that you are going above the restrictions of your competence.
Competence concerns also arise in child-custody ethics when therapists, counselors, or psychologists are not well acquainted with the distinctions of working with the courts. Let’s take the example of a psychiatrist who is instructed to write a note to a judge about his patient and the patient’s parents. If the psychiatrist has no substantial knowledge in forensics, the psychiatrist could be in trouble ethically if she fails to note the restrictions of her opinions.
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Billing Must Be Precise
According to ethics experts, accuracy is crucial in billing insurers and patients for mental health services. Inaccurate bookkeeping can put mental health professionals in hot water, but others experience difficulties because they have worked to benefit patients.
Finally, there is one best technique that mental health practitioners can try to decrease their exposure to legal and ethical issues: to be the best mental health professional that you can be.
Source: alliedpsychiatry.com
If you are a spouse, parent, friend, guardian, or significant other of someone who is experiencing a tough time and requires therapeutic support, it can be daunting to know how, precisely, to help this someone. With mental health issues impacting one in ten kids and one in four adults, access to efficient care is crucial. But the good news is that therapy treatments have been successful, although, sadly, only one of three individuals seeks assistance for themselves.
If you care for someone going through psychological suffering and require support and guidance beyond what you can offer, the recommendations below can walk you through finding the appropriate type of help.
When Your Loved One Must Seek Therapy
Although it might be evident to you that a person you care about requires professional help, there are several explanations why your loved one might hesitate or decline treatment. Some might not have access to efficient mental healthcare. In contrast, others might evade therapy because they are afraid of being labeled frail or insane by people with a certain stigma on therapy. An individual may have cultural or religious opinions that prevent them from finding professional support, or maybe they have experienced inefficient therapy in the past.
Unraveling why an individual may elude treatment can be a decent place to begin and normalizing mental health concerns and treatment plans. Millions of people across the globe seek help for depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions to enhance their overall well-being and happiness.
Posttraumatic stress, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts are examples of conditions that guarantee intervention. Some warning signs of emotional and mental distress include:
Therapy For Minors
Adolescents and kids who are confronted with mental health conditions are particularly doubtful to seek help without the interference of an adult. Also, they might not get the nature of their physical and mental indications. Most kids are not yet familiar with controlling their own health conditions, although there could be exclusions, especially in the teenage phase. On the other hand, even an independent teen may be hesitant to seek mental health assistance because of the lack of knowledge and accessibility of current treatment options or simply because of the stigma.
Parents or caregivers of minors who are suffering can provide support and unconditional love. They may also arrange a consultation with a certified mental health professional for the child as necessary. Therapy permits a child to willingly and boldly deal with emotions, behaviors, and negative thoughts with the supervision of a person experienced in treating mental and psychological conditions.
School administrators and staff can also start the process of seeking help for the youth. Numerous schools typically have one counselor that oversees students routinely. A school counselor must also provide endorsements if a child requires additional help outside of the school. Usually, parents or guardians are obligated to schedule an appointment with a qualified professional. However, if the child seems to be in peril or going through abuse, the school counselor may have a basis to contact other therapists or mental health providers on behalf of the minor.
If the conditions that your child is going through are associated with family or household matters, family therapy can be a useful option, either by itself or combined with individual therapy. A family therapist will assist the family as one unit to evaluate and study family dynamics, tackle family members’ indications, and enhance family relationships.
If your child has already been diagnosed with a mental health condition that demands medication therapy, you can discuss these matters with your child’s psychiatrist or pediatrician about psychotropic medication. Because of the hazard of undesired side effects in kids and teens who consume psychotropic medications, these medicines are frequently recommended as a last-ditch effort and combined with other forms of treatment like counseling or therapy.
Source: kayentatherapy.com
Patient privacy and confidentiality are crucial areas of therapy. Parents and caregivers are usually given access to information and records about their children’s therapy visits with kids. The disclosure guidelines differ by state, but in some situations, a minor can choose to make their records private so that parents and guardians won’t get the information. Mental health providers can also decline disclosure if the minor requests it or the therapist believes that disclosure can be dangerous to the child’s safety and security. In a few states, these safeguards that oppose disclosure are only valid if there is a logical belief of some abuse that is taking place.
Although I am only in my twenties, I have been on this planet long enough to see the dangerous effect of social media on people who had no idea about their real purpose.
One of the dangers that I am talking about is leaking others’ lewd photos or videos. While those perpetrators need to go to jail, I also think that the victims are not entirely faultless. After all, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms have been created so that family and friends can remain connected no matter where they are in the world. But if you decide to exchange nudies with strangers or even a new fling, you should not be shocked if one of them decides to share them with others, even without your permission, just for fun.
Social media can also be a platform for cyberbullying. The reason is that many people tend to share as many personal details as possible every day. I am not only talking about photos or videos but also locations and opinions about different matters. Again, since you post them on public, you allow others to comment on them and call you out, which can sometimes lead to bullying.
However, what bothers me the most is the ongoing trend of people coming up with extreme challenges that could put others and themselves in real danger. Among the craziest ones for me was the Birdbox challenge, which was inspired by the same name. Technically, no one associated with the movie encouraged the audience to copy what happened in the dystopian world they created for the cinemas. Still, some thoughtless people in the real world assumed that it was cool to start a trend of driving with a blindfold on. It wasn’t – it was beyond bonkers.
One of the few things that could top off that is the choking game. You could take your kinky mind out of the gutter because there was nothing sexy about choking others for the sake of giving them cerebral hypoxia. That had been known to cause severe or permanent brain damage to people.
Who Is At Risk Of Following Crazy Trends?
Kids are at the highest risk of following crazy trends. In truth, many of those dangerous challenges have been created for them.
For instance, the choking game got another name recently – the blackout challenge – and became popular in the Tiktok app. The idea was that the child must film themselves while choking themselves until they passed out.
As a sane person, you might cry out, “Why?!” The sad reality was that many internet sensations became famous after doing something crazy and surviving from it. Perhaps those kids were desperate to gain new followers and likes, so they were willing to do anything in front of the camera – even risk killing themselves.
How Can You Tell What Social Media Trends To Follow?
My counselor friend advised the following:
Do Your Research
The problem with most individuals who follow social media trends was that they always did it blindly. A friend might have told them it was cool, so they went ahead and followed it to become cool, too. Because of that, they did not know how to protect themselves if something went south along the way.
If you want to save yourself, you need to do enough research about a specific trend. For instance, regarding the blackout challenge mentioned above, a kid named Joshua Haileyesus “succeeded” in choking himself until he lost consciousness. However, after a few days at the hospital, he died.
When you see news like that, it should be a clear indication that you should never mess with that kind of game.
Avoid The Ones That Involve Physical Harm
You need to stay away from social media trends that encourage you to harm yourself or others in any way. Otherwise, you might end up doing things that you would regret forever.
A subtle example of that is the Tide Pod challenge. Yes, I am talking about laundry detergent packets. This challenge requires teenagers to have a contest to see who could eat more detergent and post the entire process on social media.
Why is the Tide Pod challenge dangerous? Well, that’s because any cleaning product is technically a poison to us. Many kids already got hospitalized because of it; worse, a significant portion of them admit to eating those detergent packets on purpose after seeing the challenge go viral.
Final Thoughts
Contrary to modern belief, you do not need to try every social media trend that comes up. Some of them can be fun, for sure. Many can also take your mind off your personal issues – that’s right. However, there are more than a handful of challenges that have only been created by sinister people who want to hurt or even kill others indirectly.
I understand if you are reading this blog and shaking your head, still believing that there is nothing wrong with any social media trend as long as you get fame out of it. But think about this: what’s the point of getting famous if the challenge leaves you injured, hospitalized, or worse, dead?
Be smart about the trends you follow online. Good luck!
My parents used to say that I was academically smart. Many people might be proud of that, but I used to hate it. The reason was that it meant that I was intelligent at school but dumb outside of it.
Well, if I was honest, my parents were not far from the truth. I did not have street smarts because I was sheltered my entire life. As a family tradition, they sent me to a boarding school early, which meant that I did not have the same upbringing as other kids and met all kinds of people while growing up. If I wanted new clothes, I had to send photos of them to my mother, and then her assistant would buy them for me. If I wanted to go to the beach, I could bring as many friends as I wanted to our private resort. It was all fun and posh, but none of those privileges allowed me to develop some street smarts.
The Age For Dating Came
Since my parents were traditional, they told me repeatedly that I could only have a boyfriend after college. I agreed to do that mostly because I felt that the harder I studied, the faster I could gain my freedom. While my friends were busy partying or entertaining boyfriends left and right, my nose was buried in a ton of books all the time.
When I graduated, I thought, “Sweet victory!” The first thing I did was move out of the house and into my new apartment. Granted, it was their graduation gift, but it was still mine, and they could not barge in my place whenever they wanted. And since I no longer had people watching my every move, I got to do everything I wanted, such as hosting parties and being loud and silly.
Regarding dating, the right time undoubtedly came for that. However, I became too busy at my new job that I could not make time for all the blind dates my friends tried to arrange for me. After another year of being loveless, I decided to look for love online. I figured that it was better than not eating at all. Besides, I was only interested in men who wanted to meet and were into a serious relationship, so I thought I was safe.
Love Came Alright
When I signed up for the dating app, I filled every text field religiously. I wanted every guy who came across my profile to see the real me and what I wanted to get out of a relationship. I even had my friends pick the images that I should post on my page to ensure they represented me best.
I only waited for a few days before receiving a sensible message from a certain man named Drew. It read:
Hi, I’m Drew! I read your profile and found you genuinely interesting. Can we talk?
Of course, I checked out Drew’s profile at once, even if I was at work. I learned that he was a surgeon in the next city and had been single for a couple of years. He had the body of a model, which meant that he was hot, hot, hot. I did not answer his message right away because I did not want to get too distracted, but when I finally replied yes, my phone rang within two minutes once I stepped into the apartment.
Our initial conversation got an encore the next day, which lasted for two full hours. It would have gone on longer if my battery didn’t die on me. Then, Drew’s calls became a part of my night routine for many weeks, and every time, he would hint about how much he liked me and wanted to meet me soon.
My helpless heart skipped a beat whenever I heard those sweet words, for sure. Hence, even though I hadn’t seen the guy in person yet, I agreed to be his girlfriend. I fell in love with Drew quickly to the extent that I even welcomed marriage talks when he opened the topic.
But His Love Wasn’t Real
As a woman blindly in love, I thought of surprising my boyfriend. Drew and I had been online dating for almost six months, and we still hadn’t met due to his busy schedule in the hospital. That day, though, I knew that he was free, so I decided to go straight to the home address that he had given me. I actually brought my best friend to film the entire thing because I wanted to document such special moments.
When the GPS signaled that I reached my destination, I looked a few times at the address to ensure that I did not misspell any word or number. Why might you ask? That’s because I just saw three young kids swimming in a plastic pool in the front lawn of the house that’s supposed to be Drew’s. He told me that he was an only child, so they could not be his nieces. My heart began to pound, but I shook away the other idea that crossed my mind because I did not want it to be true.
Gathering all my courage, my friend and I hopped out of the car. One of the kids left the pool and stopped a few meters from us to ask who we were. I introduced myself and asked about Drew. My heart stopped beating for what felt like forever when the child replied, “Yes, Dad’s just got inside to help Mom. How did you know him?”
I did not get to answer the kid; I just ran straight to the car with my best friend in tow. She took the keys from me and drove us away from that place because I was shaking out of shame and anger. Though Drew and I never got intimate, I still had a relationship with a married man. I got fooled — big time.
The Aftermath
I hated myself for weeks for not seeing through Drew. When he called me that day, I just answered it to curse him before blocking his number, but that did not lessen my hurt feelings.
My friends decided to do an intervention on me and told me that I was not at fault. There were just some predatory men online who loved to prey on pure women like me, and I happened to come across one of them. Still, it did not mean that I should beat myself up because of it.
They gave me a lot to think about, and I believed they were correct.
Final Thoughts
The moral of the story is that no matter where or how you meet a potential life partner, you should look for proof of everything they say before you agree to date them exclusively. Look at what happened to me. Because I trusted easily, I fell prey to a hyena. I even went to counseling at some point to continue my healing process.
If you don’t want to need counseling because of online dating, learn from my story.
Of course, we all know what anxiety is. We understand how it affects our daily lives as its symptoms persist. Some can easily manage it because of their emotional and mental stability. There is not much they have to think about. However, for a vulnerable woman, the fear of safety is always an issue. Because no matter how much she tries and protects herself, bad people are always one step ahead of hurting her. With that, we can strongly conclude that no matter how much you try to keep your thoughts and emotions intact when you think about the danger lurking everywhere, you can’t help but get anxious.
Anxiety, in general, has a broad category. One cannot simply say that when a person feels scared or frightened about something, it automatically redirects to anxiety disorder. No, it does not go that way. If you are still confused about how anxiety works, here are the answers to some of the frequently asked questions you probably have.
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What is the real definition of anxiety?
Anxiety is characterized by extreme emotion that relies on uneasiness or nervousness, usually over an uncontrolled situation. Other manifestations included are feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and other physical changes, including palpitations, chest pain, sweating, and increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually experience measurable changes in the brain, focusing only on recurring disturbing thoughts or concerns.
From the definition, you can say that a woman’s fear of being harm tends to become valid as she tries to focus on her safety. The more she keeps on thinking about the unexpected danger, the more she gets mentally unstable.
What causes anxiety?
There are a lot of causes of anxiety. There is financial strain, school and work pressure, death in the family, relationships, and social interaction. Also, family history, substance abuse, health problems, stressful life events, and personality can develop a mental health problem.
But for situations where a vulnerable woman is involved, the cause of anxiety can come from the intensive fear of sexual harassment. This particular thing brings emotional and mental agony, which can also lead to self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
What are the six known types of anxiety disorders?
The six known types of anxiety are Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Specific Phobia, and Agoraphobia.
How do I cope with anxiety?
Before you can cope with your anxiety problems, you need first to identify your triggers. You can work through it by giving yourself some time for self-reflection. Once you get a hold of the things that make you anxious, you can now start looking for ways to distract yourself. You can exercise, practice yoga, paint or draw, write in a journal, listen to music, get some sleep, get a massage, go to a movie, or meditate.
There are a lot of options to choose from. The best part of this is that you don’t have to stick with one coping method, for all of these can quite go along with each other. You have to find the right coping strategies that fit your needs.
How do I stop my anxiety?
There are actionable tips that you can do to stop your anxiety. But first, you need to admit that you are anxious so that you can visualize yourself in a calm state. From there, slowly release your stress by breathing and allowing air to pass through your system. It would help if you stayed focus on keeping yourself in a meditated state so you can think through the process of emotional and mental recovery.
You need to realize that the whole progress of your emotional and mental recovery relies on your motivation to get better. So once you have decided that you do not want to suffer from severe anxiety symptoms, you will gain the required confidence and optimism to work on your mental health.
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What can I take for anxiety?
Benzodiazepine drugs such as Xanax, Klonopin, Valium, and Ativan work efficiently and quickly. These medications typically bring instant relief within 30 minutes to an hour after an intake. That is because they are commonly known as tranquilizers. However, though these are widely prescribed drugs for anxiety, it is still important to consult a medical health expert for a secure and proper prescription.
Avoid taking over-the-counter pills. Never listen to someone who suggests a couple of medications without asking your doctor about it first. Better safe than sorry.
What helps anxiety naturally?
There are natural ways you can do to help reduce anxiety. That includes staying active and fit. Exercise is often the best and easiest method you can always count on as it positively affects brain chemicals. Also, consider eating a well-balanced diet with food containing vitamins and minerals. It will allow your body to function accordingly. It is also best if you get enough sleep every night. It will help your mind and body in terms of rejuvenation.
It would be best if you didn’t focus on too much emotional and mental stress. Thus, practice self-care more often.
What foods trigger anxiety?
Certain factors contribute to anxiety. But, processed meat, refined cereals, candy, pastries, fried food, and high-fat dairy products are more likely contributors to mental illness when it comes to food. Therefore, consider a diet full of whole fiber-rich grains such as fruits, vegetables, and fish.
What food helps anxiety?
You can count on food such as dark chocolate, turmeric, yogurt, chamomile, eggs, pumpkin seeds, fatty fish, and Brazil nuts to help you with anxiety.
What vitamins help with anxiety?
The best vitamins for anxiety include Vitamin D, valerian root, magnesium, Ashwagandha, and L-Theanine.
If you are unsure about these vitamins, consult your doctor for recommendations.
Can you beat anxiety without medication?
Yes. There are instances that you can get rid of anxiety through mindfulness meditation. It is an effective anxiety treatment that works so well. Many therapists use and recommend mindfulness-based cognitive therapy to address signs and symptoms of anxiety problems.
But if symptoms persist even if you already tried your best doing mindfulness meditation and still it doesn’t work, visit your therapist as soon as possible. She or he can recommend you some medications that will clinically help reduce your anxiety if needed.
Can anxiety be cured completely?
No. anxiety can’t be cured because it is part of a person’s approach towards uncontrolled things around them. Thus, it is something no treatment can change. However, getting rid of the severity of the condition is possible. Research and studies have helped healthcare providers sort out which anxiety medications and therapies work best for most people.
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How long will anxiety last?
Anxiety attacks usually heighten in 10 minutes. While some people may experience it differently, the mental condition rarely lasts more than 30 minutes. However, during that short amount of time, an extreme level of terror might occur when the individual can’t manage the situation.
Why is anxiety bad for you?
A different anxiety level is dangerous because it can cause palpitations, rapid heart rate, and chest pain. It also causes an increased risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, fatigue, and mental and emotional exhaustion.
Can anxiety go away with time?
No. anxiety doesn’t go away with time nor entirely vanish forever. It stays just like any other feeling you have, including frustration, anger, sadness, happiness, love, and so on. There is no chance you can eliminate anxiety from your brain because it sometimes serves its purpose to alert you of possible danger. Fortunately, you can get rid of negative anxiety symptoms by practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, and meditation.
Insight
Understandably, there are so many things you can do to get over anxiety. However, not all of it guarantees you a full emotional and mental recovery. Therefore, you need first to understand what you are dealing with psychologically to find the best coping method.
Harassment is by far the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman. It represents an unwanted verbal or physical behavior that intends to humiliate and emotionally destroy a person. There are different forms of harassment. It could be verbal, physical, and emotional. It also relies on particular reasons, such as racial issues, gender inequality, disability, religious belief, and status. However, the most common form of harassment is sexual. It is where an environment becomes unfriendly and unsafe for women. That is due to an intended derogatory joke, sexually impractical statements, insults in overall appearance, and enforced physical connection.
Source: pixabay.com
The unfortunate truth about sexual harassment is that most women often ignore it. They believe that tolerating its every structure gives them the edge of not making a big deal out of the particular behavior. That despite being inappropriate, their ability to forgive and forget everything is more considerably necessary than throwing some complaints. But that is entirely the problem. Because when more women ignore sexual harassment, the more it becomes a normal thing even though it is not.
The Emotional And Mental Struggle Of Fighting For What Is Right
Understandably, there are instances that women feel betrayed. That is when they become a victim of harassment, but the world sees the situation differently. That particular thing is what we call “victim-blaming.” It is where other people see no wrong with the behavior, primarily if it does not involve any serious issues like touching a woman’s private parts. In some cases, society agrees to let it slip because, as what most people say, “it is just normal.” But most people are blind and stupid to acknowledge that some women struggle in proving themselves to everybody.
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Consider Harassment As An Unforgivable Violation
Women shouldn’t tolerate sexual harassment just because others think of it as a normal thing. It is not. It will never be. Being sexually harassed can take a toll on a woman’s mental health. It can make them lose their self-confidence instantly, and it can break them into a million pieces. In some unfortunate instances, it can cause severe mental trauma that can lead to self-harm and suicide. Sexual harassment is inappropriate in any circumstances. No words can describe how filthy and uncomfortable it is. Thus, people should recognize the need to stop tolerating it and treating it as if others are entitled to do it.
Women shouldn’t tolerate sexual harassment, even if the offender apologizes. The problem with most cases is that women sometimes get forced to forgive the perpetrator. It happens all the time, especially because there is not enough evidence to prove that it existed. Or sometimes, the incident occurred a long time ago, so complaining about it becomes entirely useless. As a result, everyone tries to forget about it. But does it change anything? No, it did not. In fact, the victim would still linger on the event that she was or almost got molested by someone she may or may not know. It becomes an uphill battle because of the anxiety and fear that comes with the whole idea of probable sexual assault.
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Women shouldn’t tolerate sexual harassment just because they believe that it won’t happen again. Most times, the behavior gets excused because of the amount of considerations women set as a standard. They often let it slip because it only occurred once, twice, or trice. And when committed by different individuals, the strikes tend not to count. The problem with this is that ignoring the consequences leads to acceptance. Meaning, instead of women complaining about harassment, they become used to it. That even if they are aware of their situation, they would instead not do anything to stop it.
Women shouldn’t tolerate harassment because the behavior is not at all tolerable. It is not ideal to think that letting it slip can make people live more quiet and peaceful. Harassment is a crime. It intends to hurt individuals physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It is an act that should never require negotiations. It is improper, malicious, degrading, and all in all devastating. Women should not tolerate it even if they know the person who did it. There is no excuse for that. No one is entitled to do it.
Source: pixabay.com
A Reminder To All The Women Out There
It is your sole responsibility to stand up for yourselves, especially when sexual harassment is present. Never be ashamed of telling how you feel about sexual aggravation because that is the only thing that can save your overall health. Be mindful of taking action accordingly. Never settle for less and always treat yourself better. Never allow yourself to feel you are less than a human because you are a woman. You are more than what you believe or think you are. You are a woman who can do a lot of things, sometimes even better.
Do you feel grumpy lately because of experiencing too much stress at work? Are you having difficulty in balancing all the things that you need to accomplish in a given period? Is it challenging on your part to prevent stress from affecting your day-to-day life? If you answered yes, then be sure to read this article from start to finish. The happy truth is that there are several ways on how you can outsmart stress.
When we think about abuse in a household, we immediately account for physical violence. Perhaps that is because we see visible wounds, bruises, and scars. However, that is not often where abuse starts or ends. Different types of violence are not limited to physical aspects only. It can be mental, emotional, and everything in between. For us to address it, we must first understand what constitutes as abuse so that we can know what we can do about it, especially if we realize that we are being abused.
Physical Violence – Physical violence is a common type of abuse that abusers practice in a household. It is their way of getting what they want when their words do not seem to work. Abusers resort to violence every time there is refusal from family members. Usually, physical abuse often starts with a strong grip in the arm, a slap on the face, and a forceful pull of the hands. There is hitting, choking, pushing, tripping, and throwing things as well. Eventually, when they get used to the habit of physically assaulting people in the household, the abusers end up, ultimately beating up their victims. Sometimes, they even kill them.
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Controlling Behavior – In most abusive family relationships, especially on married couples, the abusers often control every aspect of their partners’ lives. Usually, it involves invading of privacy such as wanting to know who they are talking to, where they are going, or who they are planning to meet up with. Sometimes, it also flows in controlling what they should and shouldn’t wear, and how they should respond to requests and favors. Some of these include asking for frequent text on certain intervals when out or requiring to send pictures for time stamp. The abusers do not take days off in controlling their victims’ lives.
Guilt Trips – It is a strategy that abusers often do to their victims to get their way. Usually, they use the phrase “if you love me, you would or wouldn’t do this.” This guilt trip method aims to make the family members feel bad for letting the abusers down. Typically, this strategy targets the emotional aspect of individuals. As a result, the people in the household give in to whatever the abusers want. Guilt trips work best when family members unintentionally make the abusers feel sad and lonely. From there, they end up doing all sorts of favors to make the abusers feel better.
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Intense Humiliation – Humiliation often happens in a household, especially when one person is in control of everyone. It is a behavior that can be done in front of other people or the public. It usually serves as a tactic to keep the victims down. The abusers’ goal is to make the victims feel weak and vulnerable so that they won’t find a chance to stand up for themselves. In a family scenario, usually, the father often turns out to be the abuser. That is because they have the authority to feel entitled in handling people in the family.
Blaming Game – Abusers are manipulative, and they will use this tactic to force their victims to take responsibility for hurting them. It is a strategy that pushes the family members to focus on prioritizing the abusers’ desires and needs. It makes them put the abusers’ happiness above all. It is an action that often makes people feel that everything that disappoints the abusers is their entire fault. In a normal situation, the blaming game works typically, especially when there are pressure and retaliation.
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Use Of Ultimatums – Ultimatums are the abusers’ lucky card. It is often put on the table to get the family members to say yes all the time. It is an offensive strategy that uses force without laying a hand. The abusers hold something from their victims and use it to gain absolute control over the situation. Ultimatums target the emotional aspects that make the line “if you leave, I will kill myself” very useful. Abusers find this strategy pleasurable because of the less effort they have to put up with it. Thus, members of the family begin to do things they don’t want to do.
Bad Temper – One of the red flags of abuse is bad temper. Usually, the abusers will just blow up over something that is not even a big deal. It is not as simple as having anger issues but is another form of manipulation. The goal of this behavior is to scare the victims to become more obedient and subservient. Usually, abusers know that this tactic works, and perhaps it is the most apparent signs that family members should watch out for.
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These are not the only red flags of family abuse. But if these things are something in your household, it feels like emotional and mental torture, find the courage to seek help immediately.
Living in a global pandemic puts us in a situation where we need to distance ourselves even with our loved ones. That’s why amid this, having our boundaries crossed and experiencing sexual harassment when we’re out is even more shocking. Now, the automatic response of blending in the crowd is no longer an option to get away from a harasser.
Leaving our homes is considerable risk with our current situation, but women face twice the danger of going out. A quick grocery run can risk you getting catcalled by those who have no regard for your boundaries. And although it’s not physical harassment, this seemingly harmless act has an invisible effect that takes a toll on women.
“Women may expect low-level harassment,” says Isis H. Settles, Ph.D., associate professor in psychology at Michigan State University (MSU). “A lifetime of being sexually harassed leads women to develop coping mechanisms that downplay the distress.”
The Current Situation
Plan International UK conducted a study on 1,000 women aged 14 to 21 regarding sexual harassment during the lockdown. They found that 20% had suffered street harassment since the implementation of social distancing measures.
Meanwhile, 28% of women feel less safe outside under lockdown. 2 in 5 or 40% feel unsafe walking alone in public. Among these women who feel less secure:
What You Can Do
It is heartbreaking and upsetting that women have to go through this as if it’s a regular thing. However, we have little choice but to prepare ourselves for such things happening. When faced with a catcaller, here are some ways to respond while keeping your safety.
Trust Your Instincts
Assess the situation carefully. There is no perfect response to catcalling and harassment. When placed in that situation, listen to what your gut is telling you. Some studies show that responding can reduce further trauma to the victim. Make sure to make a calculated response if you decide to do it.
Set The Boundary
Look them in the eye and denounce what they’re doing. You can tell them off or ask them why they are doing what they’re doing. As much as you can, do it with a loud and clear voice.
The harasser would either respond to you by arguing or dismiss you because calling them out made them uncomfortable. Don’t give them any more attention to stopping the situation from escalating. After saying your line, keep it moving to a safer place.
Engage Bystanders
If you see a bystander, approach them carefully from a safe distance and tell them what’s going on. Identify the catcaller and what they said or did. You can ask them to pretend that they are your friend. If a harasser sees that you’re with someone, chances are they will back off. Although not all will be willing to go to lengths to help, most will still do, one way or another.
Take A Picture Or Video Of The Harasser
If you’re in a situation where you feel safe enough to take out your phone, do it. You can use the photo or video clip as strong evidence in reporting the incident. There have been instances when harassers back off when victims take a video of them. Turning on the lens onto a harasser has the potential to make them feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Make A Scene And Make Them Feel Uncomfortable
Make a fuss and go over the top and yell that someone is attacking you. You can also start singing out of nowhere or do something that would appear unusual and ridiculous. You will catch the attention of bystanders and authorities even if there are a few on the streets. You can also take out your phone and call the police or someone you know right on their faces.
Flipping the script on them and making them feel uncomfortable can scare the harasser off.
Don’t Engage Or Ignore It
Most often, the go-to response is ignoring the harassment, especially if there are chances of the situation escalating. This response is not wrong and can help save you from further danger. Catcallers and harassers enjoy the attention that you give them, so not acknowledging their presence takes away that power.
Catcalling And Harassment Is Never Right
Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect response to harassment, and it is never your fault. With all the things currently happening in the world, we must do everything that we can to protect ourselves.