“The culture in which we live often operates on the model of mitigating risk. This model logically compels us to protect, and tends to reduce trust and create adversarial relationships,” says Miki Kashtan Ph.D.
I do not intend to speak for every woman. However, I know that a lot will agree when I say that trusting a person too much is always a wrong decision to make. There is nothing good in allowing an individual to have your full confidence. That is because there will always be a time that the person will soon take advantage of you. That is, regardless of the reason is valid or not.
For us, women, we get caught up in easily trusting people due to some factors. “Women tend to reciprocate their wealth in trust games more than men,” according to Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D. We believe that when someone is kind and polite, he is worthy of our attention. When someone is courteous and looks sincere, there is nothing to doubt about him. But that is the biggest mistakes we often do. We allow an individual to manipulate us. We let him trick us by making us look at the positive sides only. From that, we begin to engage without having a doubtful mindset.
A Different Perspective Of Doubt
Doubting someone is not always as bad as it seems. Honestly, I believe it should become part of the essential social connection traits. However, I know it is not, and it will never become a fundamental one. You see, connecting with people often starts with sharing the same interest and getting along. No one begins socializing by asking questions about how an individual thinks about something negatively. Besides, who would answer that? No person will tell someone about the negative things he does. With that, the moment an individual avoids answering questions he thinks is a target of his personality; he will feel a bit off. Will that become your fault? Perhaps it is a yes and a no.
Doubting someone is not that bad contrary to what people might say. It is not a bad attitude either. It is never about creating assumptions that a person is not truthful. Instead, it is a confirmation of what type of individual he is and what he can become. It is not about targeting a specific personality. But instead, it is a way to place awareness before handing out a woman’s trust. “The trouble with being too trusting is that you assume everyone else is worthy of that trust,” says Linda Sapadin, Ph.D.
There is no chance of knowing if the person you meet today will become someone you can trust wholeheartedly. Chances are, he can become the person that will hurt you physically, emotionally, and mentally. That is regardless if you already knew a lot of things about him. Being able to identify the reasons for your doubt is much more appreciated than trying to convince yourself in not putting any doubts on the table. Trust me. The act of always avoiding suspicion on people will never get you anywhere.
For me, I would say that doubting someone is okay. Not that I have to say it to a person’s face that I do not fully trust him or anything. I only pay close attention to the level of trust and openness I should give him. Because at the end of the day, it is me that will suffer emotionally and mentally when that person chooses to lie, manipulate, and betray me.