When You’re Out To Watch Your Favorite Band

 

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Watching your favorite band may be one of the many exciting things on your bucket list. Imagine the thrill, excitement, and the crowd! But with all the news about bombings and shootings in crowded places particularly schools and concerts, it is just the right attitude to be vigilant about your safety. “Staying safe is not about paranoia or about worrying that a dangerous person could come into your life at any moment,” says Mary Ellen O’Toole Ph.D.

 

When in a crowd, there are many risks and threats to your health and safety. One may fear of being contaminated with a contagious disease which could happen with just the person next to you sneezing. There’s also the fear of having an evil-minded person lurking around planning to bomb the whole place. The list of your worries is just endless.

 

Here Are Some Simple Reminders Of The Things You Can Do To Lessen Your Worries:

 

  1. Bring A Hand Sanitizer

 

Sanitize your hands whenever you have to touch your face or eat. Remember that a place that holds hundreds or thousands of people have millions of germs, bacteria, virus or anything that can put our health at risk. There is no way to detect who can contaminate you or not, so better do yourself a favor and protect yourself from possible dangers.

 

A bottle of alcohol will also do if you don’t have a hand sanitizer as long as it does the job of eliminating germs. Also, just be discreet when you put some because you don’t want to offend the people around you making them think you are grossed out by them.

 

  1. Avoid Touching Anything

 

It is through the hands that we usually get sick. Hands roam around touching everything, and the germs are transferred to the face and mouth when you wipe your face or munch something without sanitizing your hands first. There’s a possibility that you get contaminated with the germs from the surfaces you come in contact with which had probably been touched by thousands. You can keep your hands in your pocket or close your fists and keep them in your body. Avoid touching anything around you.

 

  1. Bring Some Tissue

 

You need something to wipe you sweat or any liquid that may spill on you. Be prepared and bring some tissue in your purse or pocket. Believe it or not, you will need it! Also, don’t just throw your used tissue anywhere. Be sensitive and throw them in the right place or you can keep them in your pocket while you haven’t found a trash bin. Be mindful of the people who will clean the venue after.

 

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  1. Find A Place Near The Emergency Exit

 

You don’t want anything to happen, but it doesn’t hurt to be very careful when you’re out in a crowd and a closed place. Find a spot where you can easily access the emergency exit. Studies show that most of the casualties occur when people are panicking altogether and trying to find a way out. If securing a place near the emergency exit is not possible, just make sure where to go when incidents arise.

 

  1. Arrange A Meeting Place In Case Of Emergency

 

Yes, you can use your cell phone in case of emergency, but it will be best if every one of you is prepared and know where you need to go in case something happens. This way, you can focus on where you’re going and be more attentive to what’s happening around rather than panicking with your cell phone. According to research psychologist Steve Casner Ph.D., “We can use those same cognitive faculties to take back control of our own safety. We just need to put a little more thought into it.”

 

  1. In Case Of A Stampede, Move Away From The Crowd

 

You have probably heard it on the news where some people get hurt or worst die during a stampede, and you have probably wondered how can that happen. Well, stop wondering and make sure you don’t get stuck into one yourself. When you get into a situation like a stampede, move sideways away from the crowd and press yourself against the wall until you are free. Then find the nearest exit that you can access.

 

  1. Bring Your Own Drink

 

When you’re out to watch a concert, chances are you will be falling in line for the rest of the night. Save yourself some time and bring your own bottle of drink. You can put a bottle of soda or water in the freezer just a few hours before the concert, so it will be cold when you bring it to the event. Not only will it save you time but it can also avoid the stress of melding in a crowd and waiting for a drink. If you bring your own, you’d be standing safe and sound in your spot waiting for the show to start.

 

 

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There are a lot of ways where you can be vigilant when you’re out in a concert. “By implementing these safety precautions proactively, we can significantly reduce the potential risk of death with our loved ones,” advises Jacqueline Getchius, MA, LPCC. It is just right to think about your safety, but don’t overthink that you’d forget why you’re there in the first place – enjoy and have fun! You’re not there to battle with the crowd. After you have made all the necessary precautions, you live at the moment and enjoy your favorite band!

 

What To Do When Mother Nature Turns Nasty (Keeping Safe In Times of Natural Disaster)

People have this bad habit of ignoring danger signs.  Women living alone or traveling by themselves should learn how to be precautious in times of natural calamities whether they are in their community or an unfamiliar place. According to Dr. Rick Nauert PhD , “When disaster strikes — whether a deadly supercell tornado, a flood, or man-made catastrophe — it is not just those with physical injuries and trauma-related disorders who suffer.”

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Tips On Keeping Your Teenage Daughter Safe From Peer Pressure (Mother-Daughter Dialogue)

The streets and alleys nowadays are becoming more and more dangerous for our teenage daughters.  Mothers, especially, often feel anxious about their girl going out with her peer group. Things are no longer the same as when she was younger, the time when she would inform you every single detail of what she’s doing.  Now, she’s learning to keep secrets, sometimes do things without your consent.

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The Danger Of Trusting Someone Too Much

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“The culture in which we live often operates on the model of mitigating risk. This model logically compels us to protect, and tends to reduce trust and create adversarial relationships,” says Miki Kashtan Ph.D.

I do not intend to speak for every woman. However, I know that a lot will agree when I say that trusting a person too much is always a wrong decision to make. There is nothing good in allowing an individual to have your full confidence. That is because there will always be a time that the person will soon take advantage of you. That is, regardless of the reason is valid or not.

For us, women, we get caught up in easily trusting people due to some factors. “Women tend to reciprocate their wealth in trust games more than men,” according to Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D. We believe that when someone is kind and polite, he is worthy of our attention. When someone is courteous and looks sincere, there is nothing to doubt about him. But that is the biggest mistakes we often do. We allow an individual to manipulate us. We let him trick us by making us look at the positive sides only. From that, we begin to engage without having a doubtful mindset.

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A Different Perspective Of Doubt

Doubting someone is not always as bad as it seems. Honestly, I believe it should become part of the essential social connection traits. However, I know it is not, and it will never become a fundamental one. You see, connecting with people often starts with sharing the same interest and getting along. No one begins socializing by asking questions about how an individual thinks about something negatively. Besides, who would answer that? No person will tell someone about the negative things he does. With that, the moment an individual avoids answering questions he thinks is a target of his personality; he will feel a bit off. Will that become your fault? Perhaps it is a yes and a no.

Doubting someone is not that bad contrary to what people might say. It is not a bad attitude either. It is never about creating assumptions that a person is not truthful. Instead, it is a confirmation of what type of individual he is and what he can become. It is not about targeting a specific personality. But instead, it is a way to place awareness before handing out a woman’s trust. “The trouble with being too trusting is that you assume everyone else is worthy of that trust,” says Linda Sapadin, Ph.D.

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Takeaway

There is no chance of knowing if the person you meet today will become someone you can trust wholeheartedly. Chances are, he can become the person that will hurt you physically, emotionally, and mentally. That is regardless if you already knew a lot of things about him. Being able to identify the reasons for your doubt is much more appreciated than trying to convince yourself in not putting any doubts on the table. Trust me. The act of always avoiding suspicion on people will never get you anywhere.

For me, I would say that doubting someone is okay. Not that I have to say it to a person’s face that I do not fully trust him or anything. I only pay close attention to the level of trust and openness I should give him. Because at the end of the day, it is me that will suffer emotionally and mentally when that person chooses to lie, manipulate, and betray me.

Surviving Social Dilemmas

Be ladylike – in action, in word, and in deed – no matter what situation you are put in.  

 

Hearing bad comments about you when attending a gathering or unexpectedly meeting someone you’ve been avoiding are just some of the circumstances you never want to be in. However, if it does, you should be able to think fast and smart about what to do to survive the social dilemma. According to Marty Nemko Ph.D., “One way to improve our ethics is to example arguments on both sides of common ethical dilemmas.”

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Tips For Women’s Safety And Awareness (Part II)

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With all the issues of violence against women, a lot of us think of isolating ourselves from the crowd. That is because we fear for our safety. That any time, we know there is a chance of us getting ourselves in danger. Yes, we may never know when that is. But the thought of it coming is as much as crucial as not thinking about it. “I think that all women need training in self-protection, be it model mugging, martial arts, shooting or guard dogs, because violence against women is a real and present danger, and it will never go away,” said psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton M.D. With that, we must take note of these tips that will enable additional skills for safety purposes.

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Profiling People – Some people are good at noticing everything. These individuals have high situational awareness skills that help them to be in control in unfortunate situations. They are good at profiling people based on the laws of probability. They can identify persons that are more likely to attack them as well. These individuals are expert in making tactical triage even though it is politically incorrect to do. These types of people are either born with the talent or somehow mastered the skills. Unfortunately, there are the ones that are a bit innocent when it comes to determining dangers in their surroundings. Usually, they become the prey. So to avoid that, all women should learn profiling people.

Trusting The Instincts – Women’s most unpredictable talent is having a weird sense of instincts. It allows them to feel a negative sensation that shows possible outcome connected to reality. It is the women’s power in getting an instant awareness of what is currently going on even though there is nothing much to see. Trusting an instinct can become daunting, though. There are times that people need to prove it, and that can take a lot of time. However, in some fortunate instances, this women’s vague sense helps in increasing awareness that lasts for an extended period. So when dangers are about to happen, the instinct will target the brain’s alertness that will buy women some time to think through the situation.

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Building Fighter Mindset – A lot of women are afraid to handle unfortunate situations. That is because they overthink about the things they might put on the line. Some may worry about time, energy, effort, or other stuff that does not entirely matter. So what happens with that is they let their guards down. These women allow their subconscious and conscious mind to battle with each other. But instead of sticking to that usual routine, women must build a fighter mindset. They must focus on always getting the best of their capabilities. Women must not feel vulnerable because if they do, they will never get a chance to hustle away from an unfortunate danger. According to Pamela King, a Marriage & Family Therapist, “knowing when and how to counterattack can make the difference between rape and escape in the first few seconds of an assault.”

It will never be any woman’s fault when they overthink about their safety. The truth is, it is an advantage. Not all people are friendly and trustworthy. So taking the time to consider things around is a necessary action to do. Nobody can guarantee that unfortunate thing will never happen. But as long as women are aware, things can all be different. “Awareness is the first step. You may need help to see things clearly. Write out conversations and try to identify abuse and all the tactics used,” advises Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT.

Street Smart Guides For Solo Women Travelers

Traveling need not be scary. If you are a woman, chances are there are a lot of things going on inside your mind right now about becoming a solo traveler. Your stomach churns, and you start growing anxiously excited about how things will turn out once you step out of the plane of a place that doesn’t speak your language and is of foreign terrain.

 

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Tips For Women’s Safety And Awareness

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Anybody is easy to kill, especially when an ambushing hunter does an excellent job in plotting his moves in hurting someone. No matter if we have guns, knives, pepper spray, or any other self-defense device in our hands, it will all be useless. If we get caught unaware and not seeing a threat, there is not much we can do.  That is regardless if we have a pretty good high training of self-defense. With that, to become situationally aware and able to identify a crowd with a threat to it, we need to consider understanding human nature.

For most of us women, it is a fallacy to always think that we are ready. That is so bullshit because it can never happen. If we overthink on our safety, it becomes paranoia. It will become a state where we continuously think about people trying to hurt us even in public places. Readiness is something we only create in our minds to help us picture out the types of dangers out there. But in reality, we can never execute actions as much as we thought we could.

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What Woman Can Do In Certain Situations

Focus On Threat Indicators – One thing that all of us women should do is focus on threat indicators. These include asking questions of why a person is so unquestionably nice. Why the crowd is too silent. Why everyone seems uncomfortable. And why everything feels so awkward. A simple thought of these things can make a difference in the way we look at our surroundings. Who knows? We might find interesting facts on how dangerous a situation is at some point. “Knowing when and how to counterattack can make the difference between rape and escape in the first few seconds of an assault,” says Pamela King, Marriage & Family Therapist.

Increase Situational Awareness – When we say increasing situational awareness, it does mean we have to feel entitled for having assistance. It means we need to pay attention even to the smallest details of the situation where we think something is wrong. For us, women, we have to learn how to retain specific memories that we know helpful in patching stories up. We might never know when names and birthmarks will become useful for future use. We have to be keen on gathering essential details. According to Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, “Awareness is the first step. You may need help to see things clearly. Write out conversations and try to identify abuse and all the tactics used.”

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Overcoming Fear – One thing that holds us in keeping ourselves safe all the time is fear. Yes, it is women’s nature to feel anxious quickly and scared at some unfavorable conditions. But it does not have to be like that. We must learn to overcome our fear so we can take appropriate actions in a matter of time. We need to become more confident in our emotional, physical, and mental strength. It will become the key to stop people from hurting us.

Women are born vulnerable. But it does not mean we cannot do anything about it. If we focus on keeping ourselves safe, we can make it happen. There are lots of ways that can help us in our goal. We only have to avoid thinking that the world is safe and not harmful. Because the truth is, the humankind is worse than we could ever imagine. “I think that all women need training in self-protection, be it model mugging, martial arts, shooting or guard dogs, because violence against women is a real and present danger, and it will never go away,” said psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton M.D.

Spot The Threat (Woman’s Safety Awareness)

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It is not always that a woman knows how to handle situations involving any kinds of harassment. According to psychologist Mariana Plata, “There’s nothing anyone can or should do to give permission to another person to physically or emotionally invade and/or hurt someone else. Why do we keep making women responsible for their abuse? More importantly, what are the different faces of the violence we keep normalizing?” There are cases that she can never identify if the current state is dangerous or not. Sometimes, she cannot even recognize the right moment to seek help because there are situations that are too ordinary to doubt. But in all honesty, that is not an excuse. A woman should exert an effort in spotting the threat in every situation. That is regardless of her location, and the people she currently hangs around. She must take full responsibility in identifying unsafe conditions to protect herself from the likes of dangerous people.

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What She Can Do

In public places, some women feel confident and safe. That is because they believe a lot of people can immediately act and help her if there is unfortunate harassment. However, in some times, it is not always safe to be surrounded by a lot of people. Some instances, the tendency of the having too many people around can lead to misidentification of the harasser. Some culprits use the public to create a diversion. With that, it becomes impossible to determine the suspect. It will help a woman in public places if she focuses on the critical areas. These are things or people in front of her, left and right sides, and behind her. By focusing on these specific areas when she is in a public space, she will be able to increase her awareness rate. Psychologist George Simon argues that “these covert manipulators intentionally say and do things to get what they want — for power and control.”

Of course, there is always a benefit of the doubt when a woman is alone in a particular location. It is easy to think about the imminent danger. However, some women ignore common-sense because they rely on the well-lighted setting. Some believe that because the place is not dark, there will never be a case of harassment. That is entirely wrong. Regardless of the site is well-lit, as long as a woman is all by herself, there is a significant amount of tendency that she will be in danger. The lights will never guarantee safety, and that is a fact. A woman must consider using the place to her advantage by creating some sounds and attracting other people towards her. She should not feel confident with those lights because it can never do anything to save her in the end.

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In the presence of someone who is trying to help, a woman is vulnerable in trusting this stranger. Some cases that simple assistance begins with full confidence. However, regardless of how much a person looks courteous and trustworthy, always put the benefit of the doubt. A woman should never entrust herself on a person she knows nothing about. It is a basic rule that will keep her safe from most of the times. She should not feel at ease when someone is showing her affection or giving her some gifts. A woman must put in mind that there are always two types of dangerous people. That is the one that will cause harm instantly and the one that will plot a dangerous act. “Ancient wisdom to “know your enemy” is good advice when dealing with a manipulator.” This is according to marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT.

Women should spot the threat. Please share to increase awareness.

Things Women Should Never Think Or Say To Themselves

Our words can be powerful. Speak to a therapist, and they’ll warn you against the dangers of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you’re wondering what that is, it’s what happens when your expectations ultimately cause them to happen. These predictions can affect your self-confidence hold you back from being the best you. According to Glenn Geher Ph.D., “Reality is a powerful selection pressure.”

Because of this reason, it’s crucial that what we say. There are some things that we should refrain from telling ourselves. Let’s take a look at some of them.

“I Should Have…”

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It’s good to assess yourself and your actions from time to time. You can look at what you can improve on so you can grow as a person. However, this habit can also turn into a destructive one.

Getting too caught up what you could have done prevents you from moving on with the future. You’ll only be making yourself feel bad if you tie yourself down to lost opportunities and past mistakes. Learn to let go and to be gentle with yourself.

The next time you catch yourself saying, “I should have done…,” stop yourself. Otherwise, follow it up with “I’ll do better next time” and don’t worry about it again.

“I’m Sorry For Feeling This Way”

Have you ever thought that you’ve overreacted to something? It’s true that sometimes, our emotions can cloud our judgment and decisions. However, this doesn’t mean that we should invalidate the way we feel. “Individual decisions are best understood as the interactions between reason and emotion. When we are calm, slow rational thinking guides our decisions. However, strong emotions place a constraint on clear thinking,” says Shahram Heshmat Ph.D.

Emotions are an integral part of us. Otherwise, we’d be robotic and uncompassionate. And to be honest, nobody wants that. They guide us to make decisions and take action. While these choices may not always be the best, they’re necessary for life. Feelings push us to go for our dreams, survive, and connect with others. They are not a sign of weakness. They’re meant to be felt and expressed. We should learn to manage them, but not cancel them out.

In short, we shouldn’t have to apologize for our feelings because they’re part of us.

“I’m Not Good Enough” or “I’m Not Worth It”

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The word “enough” can be dangerous on your road to self-love. Many of us struggle with feelings of inadequacy. We can sometimes feel like we’re not worthy of people’s love or attention.

Psychologist Meag-gan O’Reilly believes that this way of thinking steals away five things away from us. Thinking that we aren’t enough makes us lose our ambitions, relationships, health, dreams, and overall happiness.

We frequently think of ourselves as “not enough” because we don’t meet specific standards. However, we tend to set the bar too high or compare ourselves to others. We think that if we aren’t like other people, we have less worth.

Thankfully, there’s a way to overcome this. Though it’ll take some time, we have to remind ourselves that we have intrinsic value. Tell yourself that we are worthy and we don’t have to prove this to others.

“But What Will Other People Say?”

Have you ever been excited to try something new, only to stop because you’re worried about what others would think? You aren’t alone. Having to worry about people’s opinions brings about significant levels of stress as well as a lot of “what ifs.” Thus, it keeps us from growing and enjoying ourselves.

But it shouldn’t have to be about impressing your peers. If you keep living this way, you’ll find that you are, in reality, living for others instead of yourself. Do what makes you think positively about yourself.

“I Hate My Body”

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With all the body-positive campaigns out there, you’d think that it’d be easier to love our bodies nowadays. Sadly, it isn’t that easy. While more women – and men – are becoming more supportive of others, there are days when we don’t feel as confident. Print and runway models still fit a particular norm, and some people aren’t as accepting.

But we have to keep in mind there’s no connection between our self-worth and how we look. Whether you’re skinny, curvy, or athletic, it doesn’t matter. I know it’s cliché, but there’s beauty in everyone. Dwelling on physical flaws never did anyone any good. Stretch marks, cellulite, acne, body fat, and all these other things don’t mean anything to the people who truly matter.

Conclusion

There’s a lot of power behind the words we choose. They can build up our self-confidence or chain it down. While we often hear these phrases from other people and ourselves, we have to make an effort to stop.

“Being emotionally well doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re happy all the time, but rather, that you’re self-aware and able to shift as a way to feel better,” says Diana Raab Ph.D.

Living in the past with “I should have” will keep us from pushing on. Apologizing for your feelings turns you into a cold robot. Focusing on “enough” makes you forget that you have intrinsic value, and it shouldn’t depend on what others say. Your body is your own and how it looks isn’t equal to the worth you have. It’s time for us to use language that’s gentle and loving towards the #1 person in our lives – ourselves.